About a Dad

Fathers don't need to be perfect; they need to be committed, humble, and strong.

I was 5 years old. My dad promised me a candy bar after dinner. Unfortunately, he became distracted with work, and my mother put me to bed before Dad had a chance to go to the store for the candy. After I had been asleep for an hour or so, Dad gently woke me up and told me to come out to the dining room. There on the table was a candy bar! We sat together and ate our treats, quietly giggling and talking. It’s one of my favorite memories.

You see, Dad always keeps his word. Not just to me but to everyone.

My dad used to be a runner. He’s 79 now and is a walker rather than a runner because his knees tend to give out. Anyway, he would run his 6 miles after work and always promised he’d come back to the house and get my little brother and me so we could join him to jog around the block for his cool down. He came back to get us every time. It’s not like he was annoyed about it either. He seemed as though he truly enjoyed raising us kids. He wasn’t stressed out as a dad. We weren’t a bother to him.

How do I know I am a real woman? How do I know the guy I chose to marry is a real man? I think it’s because my dad taught me these things. No, he didn’t sit me down and give me a lecture. It was his example.

Dad never yelled. He was never cross or rude or mean when correcting us kids. He was always gentle and prioritized raising us, motivated by love. This doesn’t mean he was a weak-willed pushover though. We knew we had to obey him no matter what.

He’s a strong guy, seasoned and grounded. He jumped out of airplanes and fought fires as a Forest Ranger. He loves boats, the outdoors, risk, and adventure.

He loves my mom fiercely and put her first before us kids. He indirectly helped me choose a good man as my husband because he treated my mom the way I wanted to be treated.

He led the family and was a leader in his work, church, and peer groups. He never tried to befriend me. That was the healthiest thing he could have done.

He was and still is fun. So fun. We’d go grocery shopping as a family, and while my mom shopped, he’d play hide-and-seek with us kids up and down the aisles. He would jump out and scare us and we’d shriek with delight, embarrassing my mother to no end.

But when it was time to be serious, he led by example. He taught us how to resolve conflicts, how to be serious about education, and how to be diligent in our work. He wasn’t dedicated to my happiness. He was dedicated to being a good provider and protector, thereby making me the happiest girl in the world.

I recall my dad being cheerful all the time. He still is. He was always whistling or singing a happy tune. He was at peace in his own soul. He never drove aggressively. Even though he had all the pressures of being the sole breadwinner, business owner, employer, he never rushed or acted hurried, impulsively, or frustrated. His priorities were ordered. The family unit was ordered.

He took us kids along on what he likes to do, such as biking, hiking, and camping. He’s not someone who will play board games. We never thought, “Oh poo, my dad won’t play games with me, waaaa!!” No, it just wasn’t his thing and we never felt neglected.

He spent time with me, encouraged me, spoke life to me. His voice and his presence had a tremendous impact on my life. I knew his love for me would never change even if I made mistakes.

It was natural for him to create this kind of relationship. He would pick me up from dance lessons in his work van and simply listen as I chatted. I loved playing with his tools and Teflon tape. I liked the sound of the diesel van.

Sometimes after dinner he’d say, “Let’s go get ice cream,” and we’d sit at Dairy Queen in our pajamas, ice cream in a cone dripping in the humid, south Florida, night air.

He supported me 100%. He came to every one of my shows, multiple shows a month, and cried every time because I was “so beautiful and talented”.

Dad and I have a wonderful relationship now. He will often share YouTube videos with me of musicians he finds extra talented. We bond over good coffee, delicious crepes, beautiful scenery, cool mountain air, and fighting for what’s right and just and good.

Is he perfect? No, of course not. He’s a flawed human being. It doesn’t matter. A dad doesn’t need to be perfect to be a good dad. He needs to be committed, humble, and strong.

Children need their father’s reassurance and validation and love. I was fortunate enough to have a dad who reassured and validated me anytime I needed it. He taught me to keep my promises. He taught me how to be a real woman and what a real man looks like. He taught me to understand and love myself, to serve, to work heartily, to love life and live it with zeal, and to be faithful. I am forever grateful.