Communication with a Destination

Life can come at us like a hurricane...will you and God stay in touch and on course?

My husband likes to eat at Longhorn Steakhouse. We invited some friends to join us there to celebrate his birthday. They were delighted. It was a memorable birthday. We all had a lovely dinner. At different restaurants!

We went to the Longhorn restaurant near where they live. They went to the Longhorn restaurant near where we live. Somewhere, in the midst of our text messages, communication went awry. We still share good laughs about that night when we each found ourselves in the wrong place.

That’s not the first time I have headed out with good intentions and ended up finding myself somewhere I had not planned to be. I was reminded of two important life lessons that night. It’s important to be sure of our destination. And, it’s important to improve our communication skills.

First, let’s talk about where we are headed. “Begin with the end in mind” is a common piece of advice. We envision the goal as we plan our strategy for accomplishing it. In the summer, I love to have Granny Camp for my grandchildren. I establish a theme. I research games, activities and art projects that follow that theme. I gather recipes for snacks and meals I know my grandchildren love. All the while, staying focused on the “destination”, the goal of the event – loving, encouraging and building up my grandchildren. Providing a place for them to feel especially celebrated just for being who they are.

My well-organized folder of lists, recipes and schedules does not guarantee there won’t be glitches along the way. One child may not want to do a certain project. One child may not want to play the games. It may rain on the day water activities were planned. Navigating the process while remaining attentive to the objective makes the ups and downs a bit easier to manage.

That same advice applies when it comes to living life as sons and daughters of God. Have you established your destination? Are your goals well-defined? Are you living with the end in mind? Life can approach us like a Cat 4 hurricane. With all the debris (life’s challenges) whirling around it will certainly be difficult to stick to the path. That’s why concentrating on our destination will keep us strong and steady on the course.

So, what is this end point we are headed for? In my research I found so many answers to this question. Gathering them all together, I believe my original personal answer is confirmed - it is to be conformed into the likeness of God’s Son, Jesus Christ. (“For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” Romans 8:29). Sounds simple but it is not easy. The journey is a winding road peppered with hurdles and hindrances.

Don’t forget that we have help along the way! The Holy Spirit, our traveling companion, and our atlas, God’s Word. The atlas will clearly show us what it means to look and act like Jesus. It clearly explains what we must do to accomplish this assignment. We can depend on the Holy Spirit for guidance, strength and encouragement to stick to the trail. (“I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 57:2)

Now let’s talk about our communication skills. Communication can be described simply as the exchange of information. Pretty basic. It is so much more than that. Communicating requires at least two people – a speaker and a listener. Are you more skilled at one or the other? The book of James advises us to “be quick to listen and slow to speak”. I have to confess that I struggle with an annoying habit. Many times, when someone is speaking with me my brain is moving ahead to what my response needs to be, or a question I need to ask. I sometimes reply even before the person is finished talking. Opposite of slow to speak. So annoying – to that person, and to me. I am working on it! (He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him. Proverbs 18:13 Ouch!!)

Being a good communicator is a gift from God. God, who is the perfect communicator. He is never not listening for our voice. When He speaks, He knows we will recognize His voice. My stepdad was a farmer. His cows were let out into a pasture across the road from the barn during the day. In the late afternoon when it was time for the “cows to come home”, he would go to the gate and call to them. It sounded something like “mmm boss, mmm boss”. No one could ever call the cows in the same way. And pretty quickly they would all come from across the field to gather at the gate. They were familiar with his voice.

Communicating, learning to speak and listen effectively, is one of the most essential life skills. It’s what grows our relationships and helps to keep them healthy. Our Bible offers numerous scriptures describing the how, when and why instructions for the best communication. One fundamental goal of honing these skills is understanding.

One practical way to make sure you speak with understanding is to say what you are going to say, say it, then repeat what you said.

One practical way to listen with understanding is to repeat back what you heard. So, you are saying…? Or, Let me see if I understood you…

The bottom line to my Longhorn Restaurant story is – we all ended up in the wrong place because we did not know where we were going because our communication had been faulty. You can be sure that I now repeat the day, time, restaurant name and address whenever we plan to meet someone for dinner.

As I have stated above, it is the same when it comes to our relationship with our Father, God. We need to focus on our destination of growing into the likeness of Jesus. And we need to keep open lines of communication as God continues to show us exactly how to do that. I love what Brother Lawrence says in his book, The Practice of the Presence of God, “There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God.” Practicing this advice will surely end us up right where He intended us to be!