Control Over Emotions

We are often certain our pain is someone else's fault, but it may be an issue of Lordship.

We live in an unincorporated community in North Carolina that boasts a population of just over 3,000 people. It’s the type of town where most of our neighbors raise livestock of some sort and the internet is terrible. Also, there is no trash collection service, so we have to load all household trash in the old pickup truck, and throw it into the dumpsters at the nearest transfer station.

One summer day, I loaded all the trash into my Suburban and decided we would swing by the station on our way into the larger town to run errands - you know, library, chiropractor, groceries, etc. When we arrived, I parked next to a giant dumpster - the purgatory for garbage prior to meeting its demise in the incinerator. I swung one of the bags upward, but as I did so, it suddenly burst, spewing stinky trash everywhere!

The flies instantly and ferociously attacked the contents of the bag now scattered on hot pavement. The attendant standing by handed me a broom. As a general rule, the sanitation workers DO NOT tend to assist people in these types of predicaments. I was solely responsible for cleaning up the mess; I had to sweep up the smelly garbage into a dustpan and deliver it into the dumpster myself.

Here’s where things got interesting. See, my kids were in the ‘Burb, windows down, watching me. Kids don’t miss much. They're also really good at spotting a hypocrite, especially as they get older. I’m always lecturing them about how to behave when circumstances are less than ideal. This was an opportunity for me to set an example for my kids of how to handle frustration, a do-as-I-do-AND-say, not a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do situation. I could have chosen to grumble about how gross it is, how nasty and stinky. Plus it was wicked hot outside and I could have whined, “Why does this always happen to me?” I truly wanted to fuss about sweeping it up. It felt like one of those straw-that-breaks-the-camel’s-back moments.

Anxiety and overwhelm are often present in my mind. The weight of life is heavy, and navigating all the micro-choices gets to be too much. It feels easier to let go and rage. Yelling makes us feel better, right? Maybe for a few seconds. But that’s just an excuse. We end up exaggerating the size of the problem to justify our anxiety and our reaction to it.

The Lord is using the circumstances around us to teach us to walk like Jesus. Pennsylvania pastor Dan Mohler likes to say when you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out. If you squeeze a Christian, Jesus should be what comes out! What comes out of me when I’m “squeezed”? Frustrated? Tired? Stressed?

We often believe the pain or frustration we feel is circumstantial. Or we are convinced it’s someone else’s fault - husband, kids, boss…when in all actuality, it is likely a Lordship issue. If I’m totally submitted to the Lord, I’m going to respond…differently. Galatians 5:24 says, “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.” If I belong to Christ, I’m His disciple, and the Holy Spirit dwells in me, then my fleshly responses to life need to be crucified. Dead and gone. I cannot be giving in to passionate displays of anger and then try to justify my behavior!

Let me be clear here - I am not proposing behavior modification which would lead to God’s love and acceptance. We already have all His love and acceptance! I’m talking about self-control when under pressure so we can show up in the world in the way we want to, with a beautiful purity, in a way whereby others are honored and blessed by our presence. Purity is less about doing things for God and more about how we represent Him. Holding our tongue when squeezed is one practical way to pursue purity.

Chapter one of Galatians is all about Paul’s transformation story. He used to be zealous for the traditions in which he was brought up, but then Christ was revealed to him and in him. Is Christ revealed in us? Paul explains that God’s sacrifice rescued us from the world’s ways, including religion based on duty and performance.

Paul also talks about how he doesn’t consult other people about what God has called him to do. Do we look to others for what to do, even after we know in our hearts Christ has given us certain instructions? Do we follow the example of others when it comes to our responses? How about all those relatable but not beneficial mom memes? What is Christ calling you to do?

I have felt the tap on my conscience many times when I’m anxious and about to let off steam by yelling at my family. I’ve felt the prick of my heart as I take out my frustrations about the messy house on my kids. Jesus is calling me to submit my emotions to Him, to make Him Lord of my feelings.

What would our behavior look like if Jesus truly had dominion over every aspect of our lives?