Discipline

Start with the end in mind. You and your children are worth it, and you can do it!

I recently visited my son and his family in another state. They have a dog, a very large dog. Galileo is a Pitbull-mastiff mix and he weighs close to a hundred pounds. He has a brindle coat and he is beautiful. And he is the most well-disciplined dog I have ever encountered.

Galileo responds immediately to commands. He doesn’t get on the furniture. He does not jump on anyone. He stays, lays and backs up on command. He does not touch their 17 month old daughter’s toys or go into her play area. He won’t touch the food she drops on the floor until told that he can. He won’t go on the stairs if she is going up or down. You can imagine how easily he could knock her over. There are many more examples but you get the picture. I am impressed!

Spending time with Galileo started me thinking about discipline. According to the Merriam-

Webster dictionary discipline is defined as training that corrects, molds or perfects moral

character. Another definition is the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of

behavior. When we become parents, the subject of discipline weighs heavily on our minds. At least it was top priority for my husband and me

So I am not suggesting that we train our children like we do our pets! However, it is important that we gain a good comprehension of discipline and establish an effective plan for discipline in our homes. I like this quote I recently read in Stephen Covey’s book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. He says, “To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination.”

The goal of discipline is to teach our children to control their own behavior, thoughts and

emotions. We want to teach them the skills they will need and use to make good choices, to learn values and standards which will determine their character. We want them to understand that all behavior, good or bad, produces consequences, good or bad. We employ intentional disciplinary methods from the outside with the long term objective of raising them up with the capability of controlling themselves from the inside. Discipline is not just for right now, it is also ultimately for the future.

The Bible has much to say about this subject, especially the book of Proverbs. Proverbs tells us (my paraphrase of the verses) that, though foolishness resides in the hearts of children, discipline will correct that. Discipline encourages wisdom and causes one to gain understanding, knowledge and even honor. In discipline there is hope. Discipline is actually an integral part of love. If you practice disciplining your children, they will not be spoiled and you will not be ashamed of their actions, you will reap peace in your heart and delight in your soul.

It also assures us that lack of accepting discipline, refusing or ignoring correction is shortsighted or stupid and is a path to possible poverty. Ephesians 6:1 indicates the expectation that your children can obey. God did not give us any commandments that we are not able to follow. Children, obey your parents is the command, for it is the right thing to do. This obedience promises that things will go well with you and you will live a long life on this earth. And don’t forget that we are all children. This command, and all the other verses included above, are not just for our offspring, they are as much for us.

What about results? Hebrews 12:11 in the NLT says this, “No discipline is enjoyable while it is

happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” Here are some ways one can benefit from discipline:

• Discipline helps you to feel good – about your accomplishments, about your behavior, about how you are doing in life.

• Discipline helps you to get things done. A disciplined person becomes better at setting goals and working hard to make sure he achieves them.

• Discipline increases your self-control which gives you more inner strength. Decision making and sticking to your decisions begins to be easier.

• Discipline helps you to be able to acknowledge or admit your mistakes or failures and accept the consequences without falling into defeat or discouragement.

• Discipline helps you to focus and stay on task. It enables you to avoid temptations that will distract you from your goals and purpose.

• Discipline helps you to maintain a more positive outlook in life, now and for the future.

My friends both had careers in the field of education. They loved to lead parenting seminars.

Their advice about discipline that I most used was this, “Say what you mean, mean what you say, do what you said you would do.” Not only has this helped me with my children, it has also helped me in my own personal struggle with self-discipline. Remember we should not expect our children to do what we ourselves are not willing to do.

It took my son and daughter-in-law a long time and lots of commitment to train Galileo. But they are now reaping the rewards of having a calm and well-behaved pet whom they can trust and who brings much joy into their home. Again, I am not comparing children to pets, I am only advocating the results of a diligent application of a strategic plan of discipline. No matter the work it takes, your children are worth it. You are worth it. You can do this!

Most of what I have written today is general information. You may be looking for some more

specific answers on this subject. If so, let us know your questions.

Verses: Proverbs 22:15; 13:24; 29:15 & 17; 10:17; 12:1; 13:18; 19:18; 15:32; Ephesians 6:1-4