Our 40th Wedding Anniversary

Reflections on our marriage vows

Happy Anniversary to us!

On Sunday, May 2, we will have been married for 40 years. It seemed fitting to write about marriage this week.

Bob told me being married to him would be an adventure. Yup, it has been. Marriage can be like a wild roller coaster ride. Or it can be like an energizing hike through lush green woods. Or it can be like a peaceful nap on a Sunday afternoon. We can testify that this is true according to our marriage experience. Adventure indeed!

Taking two people who grew up in very different circumstances, placing them in the same space together and asking them to always get along is an uncertain mission. I think the key to success is commitment. To commit means to pledge or bind to a certain course. If both spouses are unquestionably committed to the marriage, I believe it can only succeed.

So we said the traditional wedding vows to each other forty years ago. What did we commit to?

“I take you to be my wedded wife/husband” – We were committing to being married. Out of all the men/women I choose you. I am publicly declaring that I choose you. I am in this union for the long haul. I am vowing to work together with you to overcome our differences and imperfections. I am making a lifelong commitment to being your spouse.

“To have and to hold” – We were committing to marriage physically and emotionally. We committed to mutual respect and acceptance of one another. You have me and I have you without condition. I will hold you and hold onto you, and only you, with gentleness and understanding. I am committed to us both finding enjoyment in this relationship.

“From this day forward” – We were committing to leave the past behind. Whatever my life was before will now be forever different. I am no longer single. I am a married person from now on. I will think, act and speak as a person in a marriage relationship.

“For better or for worse” – We were committing to growth and change. There is no way to escape the ups and downs of life. There will be difficulties, conflicts, even disasters. We committed to accepting the challenges and laboring together to support and help each other to navigate through them. Hardships always require learning to grow and change. And that means we ourselves each must do the growing and changing – not demanding that the other person must. We committed to celebrating the better years and sticking together through the worse ones.

“For richer or poorer” – We were committing the possessions God gives to us to joint ownership. Even though there will still be your stuff and my stuff, I am committing to an overall attitude that all we have together is ours. We are now a team and we are committing to supporting and encouraging one another whether we are in times of too little or times of enough.

“In sickness and in health” – We were committing to sacrifice. I am committing to stay by your side, even if you become ill or injured. I am committed to walking with you even if required to make sacrifices in our lifestyle, habits or finances.

“To love and to cherish” – We were committing to choose love. I am committing to choose to love you. Love is an intentional action. We will experience emotional highs and lows. I am committing to choose loving you and cherishing (to hold dear; to care for tenderly or nurture) you without reserve.

“Till death do us part” – We were committing our present and our future to one another. For my whole life I am committed to you. I am committing my now to you and my future to you, and all that lies between. Any plans that are made from today forward will be our plans, made together and for the best interest of our marriage relationship. I will be your spouse until the death of one of us separates us.

“Hereto I pledge you my faithfulness” – We were committing to keeping our promise. I am committing to committing to you! I promise to keep my promise. This phrase is like the “Amen” to the vows.

Before we gave ourselves to each other, we both gave ourselves to God and committed to living life according to His plan and purpose. Proverbs 16:3 tells us to, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”

Reading over these vows I have to say we have done a pretty good job of this marriage thing. We are still happily in love – and if possible, even more so than on our wedding day. How about you? Are there any items that need some attention?

So, take a good look at this person you made these vows to. Aren’t they still something? Now go on out and celebrate all the days, moments, years.

Happy Anniversary to you!!