The Bug Man

Hidden places need treatment too

When I was small, perhaps around 5 years old, we lived in an old, small, wooden house which my family rented near the coast. We had a pest control service come monthly to spray for cockroaches and other unwelcome, six-legged guests.

I was just getting out of the bathtub one afternoon when the bug man, as we called him, arrived. For some reason I felt I did not have enough time to get dressed before he entered my room. I panicked and hid in the closet, naked, my hand on the inner doorknob. I stayed still and silent as I listened to him move from room to room. Suddenly he tried to open the closet door. I pulled back on the knob in an effort to keep the door shut. The poor bug man let out a cry of surprise! He certainly did not expect someone to be inside the closet! I must have given him quite a scare.

Isn’t it interesting how we often think we are in control of everything? I like to think I can keep certain things hidden from God. But just like the bug man, God opens every door to every proverbial closet. He gets into every crevice of our hearts, because He wants to help us and heal us. But we slam the door and hold on tightly, thinking maybe He will just give up and move on. We think, “Well, that area isn’t important. It's just one tiny closet.” Maybe it’s that person you haven’t forgiven, or that little white lie you told and never admitted to the truth. It’s small, right? No big deal.

I recently heard a story about a craftsman who carved an intricate wooden bird that was going to be hidden in an inner portion of a great cathedral. When someone asked why he was working tirelessly on something no one would see, he answered, “Because God sees.”

All those deep, hidden secrets matter because God sees. He sees the deepest darkest parts of our heart, even when we think we are hiding it from everyone else, perhaps even ourselves. He’s not watching in a creepy, spying on us way, but a way in which compassionate, abundant, unfailing love pours out.

The other day, my 7-year old said, “Mom, watch how many push-ups I can do. I’m a master at pushups.” I watched and bragged about him sufficiently, but the truth is he’s not very good at push-ups yet. He can’t see himself from my perspective where I perceive his form isn’t correct. I can see his butt up in the air and his arms spread too wide. But in his mind, he’s a “master”. What areas of our hearts and lives do we think we’ve mastered when really we are deceived? We don’t always see ourselves from God's perspective.

I thought I was in control of remaining hidden from the bug man. But his job was to treat every area of the house, even a closet that guests don’t see. We think we can hide certain areas, not clean them because no one ever sees, thinking, “It’s not hurting anybody.” But God uses each tiny moment, each detail of our lives in an effort to clear out our closets to bring us nearer Him. He wants us to view those things as a big deal because He doesn’t want anything to come between Him and us. He uses all of it to bring us up to be mature. He is growing us, little by little, step by step, closer to our perfection in Christ (Matthew 5:48 and Ephesians 4:14-15).

Sometimes it feels like the dentist. He digs out the rot and fills in the empty hole with mercy and grace and love and new skills and revelation. It’s sore at first but it’s ultimately for our good. He doesn’t force it. The dentist says, “Open wide, please.” In the same way we have to open our hearts to allow Him to do His work.

I used to have a long drive between my college campus and my workplace. As I drove, God and I had an exchange of talking and listening. Many spiritual root canals were performed on those drives. He dealt with me about what music I was listening to, and with whom I was spending my time. He showed me that I needed to forgive someone who had offended me. He showed me traits in myself that needed correction. He wooed me into giving my whole heart over to Him during that year. I remember feeling like I was wrestling with myself - a tension between holding onto what my flesh wanted and what my spirit knew was best and truly craved. I’m so glad I let him into those closets.