Thriving in the Middle

Learning the knack of living fully in today.

So, I am a middle child. Well, sort of. With four kids in my family there really is no middle. Three girls were born first and I am the middle girl. My little brother, born last, is in a category all his own.

There is a bit of controversy over whether Middle Child Syndrome is a real thing. Some characteristics of children born in the middle are said to be rebellious, not family oriented and not perfectionists. I am so opposite of that! On the positive side, peacemaker and self-reliant definitely describe me.

Whether this syndrome truly exists or not isn’t of much concern to me. What I do know is that it can be a genuine challenge for me to thrive in the middle. I don’t mean with my family. I get along famously with them. I am talking about living in the today that is sandwiched in between the yesterdays and the tomorrows. I am talking about living life in its fullness in the middle of what is happening right now.

Regrettably I find I spend way too much time ruminating (engaging in a repetitive negative thought process that loops continuously in the mind) on the past and fretting (feeling or expressing worry, annoyance, discontent, or the like) about the future. Time would be better spent focusing on the joys and blessings of today.

My six-year-old granddaughter made a profound discovery. “Grams,” she said, “yesterday, today was tomorrow.” Aha! Indeed. We cannot change what happened yesterday. That is the past. We can, however, live today in such a way that tomorrow’s yesterday will be a great memory.

So, how do we live well and thrive in the middle?

• Put the Past and Future in Their Place

Truly living in today does not mean that we deny our past, or pretend it didn’t happen.

It did. There may be some events we must reconcile. Then, we must leave it there and

go forward. We can bring the strength we gained, the lessons we learned, the

realization that God was, and is, always present in our lives and the faith we acquired –

all that makes us who we are. And file the rest safely away in our memory bank.

Living in today also does not mean ignoring the future. Plans must be made. We can

work at accomplishing our dreams. God owns our future and it is unknown to us. Trust it

to Him and leave it there.

• Give Your Attention to What is Around You

Every day God has something for us to do or to see that will enrich our soul. If our

attention is not centered on present moments, we may miss out. When you are talking

to someone be attentive to them. Really take time to hear what they are saying. When

you are walking, or shopping, or driving, notice the trees and flowers, the sky, animals

you see along the way, nicely manicured lawns and remarkable architecture. I often pray

for people I see on the street. Perhaps I am the only person who prayed for them today.

When we are distracted, we may overlook opportunities to say a kind word or do a kind

deed. God is in every moment of every day. Each moment has meaning and is filled

with his goodness.

• Practice Gratitude

There are so many things I want! I may or may not ever have any of them. Living in

today means being grateful for what I have right now. And I have a lot. Perhaps not by

some folks’ standards but all I have is what God has given me. We must decide to be

grateful for all the blessings we have received from His hand. If it is difficult for you to

express thankfulness, write a list of all you have today. Your health, your eyesight, your

beating heart, clothes to wear, food, a bed and blankets. Your list will be different from

mine. Whatever is on it, God was delighted to give to you. Saying thank you for it gives

it greater value and helps you to grow gratitude in your heart.

I grew up in rural Vermont back when farms were plentiful. Most back roads were lined with fences to keep the cows where they belonged. When my dad was teaching me to drive on those roads, he would tell me, “You are doing good. Just keep it between the fences.”

Encouraging advice for all of us today. Keep it in the middle. The scriptures tell us in Isaiah not to dwell on the past and in James that we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Psalm 118:24 says, “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”

How about you? Have you learned the knack of living fully in today? Let’s keep working on this together. I’ll be praying for your success.

Love you all.